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June 21, 2005

Joy in Natural Love

My quietness has been somewhat disturbing to my family this week; I speak of positive things, no stories or backbiting kinds of things. My mother wants for me to get married so that I am not alone, yet, I feel no aloneness at all but much a part of nature, one with nature. There is no separateness. I believe they feel no anger or hostility within me; they just wonder and question what is going on with me and why I am so at peace and quiet. They know that I am 'in love' by my love look, they say. It is just all the good sensations and healthy self-esteem that is contributed by this course. I let them know that I am very happy and content with 'where' I am in life.

I watch a UT boat carrying 15-20 young people docking and also the sea gulls follow the boat like the pied piper leading those that care to follow. Knowing there is no more food to be thrown out to them, they give up and fly away to another attraction. I'm thankful for the peace found here in this location; the beauty of the beach, the soft sand between my toes, the wind beneath my wings. I face East attracted to the water, the light and the waves. I feel the sun and its welcomed warmth. I hear sounds of waves lapping on the shore, hitting rocks to make its music so well-known. While all seems still, there is much teaming of life, the tiniest birds called turpins run up to each area stranded by the rushing water to look for its food before nightfall. Stories of life and its continuance are heard echoing in the wind-the blueness of the skies and the blueness of the water runs together so I know not where one begins and the other ends. Surely, every every soul has spoken and been written about!

Sometimes shedding your chrysalis takes its own time, cannot be hurried by others time frames and deadlines. To force a bud is to force a pre-mature bloom; one that can be indeed a show for others, but not true to itself. Blossoms unfolding when ripe and ready, show forth soul radiance and beauty within, not without only as when forced. The true essence of one is 'allowed'; uncompromising.

A Casino ship passes by called the Texas Treasure; indeed there is a confusion of wealth and money here. The treasure is yet to be discovered inside and outside. Its smoke stack billows black smoke into the air signaling to me, a void, a waste of resources. I'm like a sea gull or a pelican that can ride the waves, rocking back and forth not overturning, just riding the waves...and up walks a lady named Rosemary, from Temple Texas. I end my visit with the beach and turn my attention to her and her lovely name....she is attracted to what I am doing and I explain....oh, what joy to be in love, in love, just being and appreciating all.